Any one who has read the long-winded account of our adventures (see "A day in the life of a Worcester Decorator" below the footer), will know that I have often referred to my white Ford van as my Tardis due to its ability to hold more equipment than the standard laws of physics are quite comfortable with. (My lawyers are fending off a "cease and desist notice" from the Universe's head of legal as they aren't comfortable with these laws being broken too frequently - apparently it can give ill-conceived ideas to writers and engineers who will invariably drive themselves insane trying to patent a "Perpetual Motion" machine. And everyone knows that one of the few items you cannot patent is a perpetual motion machine - despite them being ludicrously easy to build!)
Nonetheless, with the laws of physics not applying themselves to the back of my van (perhaps they got fed up with being tested so much they decided to abandon that specific part of the universe for an easier role), it suits me rather well. Like Batman's utility belt, it has everything in it I could need.
I have the usual decorating attire: spare overalls and cold weather gear (this last week has been chill with the north wind), and gloves and a spare pair of boots. Then my small ladder hangs along the inside, looped to the side with bungies. I have a host of paint pots that sit in a neat(ish) rack on the floor, rollers, and extenders and then blankets, crusted dry with white emulsion (no Carry On type jokes here please!)
I also have a tool kit, which comes in handy more often than you'd think, and make sure there are at least two torches in the van (I even have a head light I can use if I need both hands available). And then there is my portable radio, marred with plaster dust and the paint of a thousand splashes. Behind the front seats are the kettles and scuttles that are always needed in one form or another, and hand sanders and filling knives, scrapers and wire brushes and caulkers and sponges. The list is never-ending!
Finally, in a discreet metal box on the top of a small shelf, is my secret ingredient that guarantees a good day's work: my emergency supply of PG Tips.